Mad Darby Diaries

Having spent a very enjoyable 5 days in the rain in Symonds Yat, we faced what ended up as being a very long drive home.  Driving, or crawling, through torrential rain, the journey seemed to be interminable.  After 3 hours at the wheel I declared my need to stop for a cuppa so we pulled in at a service station.   There was a Starbucks in one building so we pulled up our hoods and hurried in.  I wanted Green tea or any herbal tea, even an Earl Grey would be good but I couldn't see tea on the board.  A young lad was stacking the shelf full of biscuits so I asked him if they had tea.  'Oh yes,' he said, so I queued patiently.  After 10 minutes I reached the front of the queue.  'We only sell coffee, not tea, or we have coca cola.'  I left my family drinking their coffee and wandered out in the rain to see what other delights I could find.  Spotting another building I ventured in.   Two more Starbucks and no tea.  You hav...

 Here I am in Symonds Yat celebrating Christmas with my family, where the roads are the same width of the car and where it seems to either rain or one thinks it is raining because it is permanently damp.  Apart from the weather it is a perfect setting with a river running gently by and views across rolling countryside.  Everyone seems to know each other and the local pubs are full of locals mingling with visitors.  Except one which has a sign outside which states in large letters, LOCALS ONLY.  Well who would want to go there anyway? After Johnson's ridiculous lies and party antics no-one seems to be taking him seriously.  He can spout his recommendations and rules to the public and they will ignore him or make up their own rules.  If you didn't spot the occasional mask you would not know that the pandemic still rages in the UK.   Macron will be pleased at the latest research that shows that 79% of the British people are genetically French. O...

 After being incarcerated in my son's house waiting for the results of the day 2 test I was finally allowed out today.  I went to Chichester and was saddened by the number of familiar shops that have disappeared from the town centre.  Bognor is the same.  You wouldn't die of thirst in either town though as the number of cafes has increased.  Both town centres were busy making it difficult to keep a safe distance from others but many people were wearing masks in the street. I was pulled over by Customs in Caen.  As I opened the trunk of the car one of the officers asked me if I was carrying goods.  'Yes,' I replied, ' French Champagne and French wine'  They nodded approvingly and waved me away. During my 3 days in the house, I have cleaned, filed all their paperwork, mended the shower, cooked dinner and tried watching television, the latter being totally uninspiring.  The news consists of covid, travel restrictions, forbidden Christmas parties...

I hate double negatives but you hear them a lot in the UK.  My favourite is 'don't know nuffing about it', often used in police interview rooms.  This week, though, the double negative triumphed when Trump said, 'anybody that doesn't think there wasn't massive election fraud in the 2020 Presidential Election is either very stupid or very corrupt.'  A  perfect description of yourself Mr Trump. On Sunday I played a match in the inter club tournament.  As my opponent was only 32 I didn't have high hopes but much to my amazement, and hers I imagine, I won the first set 6 1.  By the second set she had caught on that I can run most balls down and she upped her game, winning 4 6.  At 4 5 in the third set I looked doomed but after 3 hours of play I managed to eke out the last 2 games, winning 7 5.  She was not happy.  I was happy, and somewhat surprised, although I didn't show it, or couldn't, as after 3 hours I was lucky to be standing.  Monday...

Sometimes I feel as though we are going backwards. We are back to wearing masks outdoors in Saumur, day 2 test has to be a PCR one and now France wants people coming into the country to have a test 48 hours before.   The latter is fairly impossible to find if you are entering France from the UK during the Christmas/New Year period, which seems to go on until about the 8th of January.  All this and there is still no evidence that the new variant is anymore lethal than the previous variants.   Even with 3 vaccinations one is subjected to all these tests.   At some point countries will make vaccinations mandatory and then what? I noticed in Angers that  about 50% of the people on the tram and in  shops wear their masks below their noses, or round their chins.  Do they think it looks more attractive that way? I had lunch with friends in a Thai restaurant this week.  My share of the bill came to 25€ so I put down 3 tens and took a 5€ not...

 Just as you think it is safe to travel, a new covid scare is inflicted on us.  Nations rush to  close borders and tighten mask wearing rules before the scientists have had a chance to look at the data and follow the facts.  It apparently spreads easier and quicker than its predecessors but we don't know if it is anymore lethal or if it is resistant to the vaccine.  I just want to go to the UK to spend Christmas with my family, without having to spend time in quarantine. I played tennis this morning, doubles.  The first set I played with Therese and we lost, the second with Danielle and we lost, the third set with Yvette and we lost.  That tells me something. The sewage problem is fixed so it is safe to exit my apartment again.  It only took 4 weeks and when it was repaired we, the apartment owners, found the company and agreed a price.  Why are we paying a management company?  I agree with Franck, one of the owners, when he raised his f...

 As the sewage piles up around the apartment I think it is appropriate that we highlight World Toilet Day, which took place yesterday.  I have lived in countries where sewage systems were non-existent and where toilets were a luxury, even outside but I didn't really expect to endure the same in the middle of Saumur.  However, after 4 weeks, tomorrow will see workmen arrive to deal with the problem.  Please don't let there be a strike.  When they have fixed the broken  pipe we have to work out what we do with all that sewage just laying around.  I don't normally wish for torrential rain, or any rain at all, but please can it pour down on Friday?   The mairie phoned yesterday to say that they had spoken to the Prefecture who had given them a telephone number that I can ring to get an appointment to change the address on my identity card.  It is the same number I have been dialling for weeks and which is always busy. I read that Boris Johns...

 As usual I am fighting fires on all fronts.  Sewage,  bureaucracy, not to mention sorting out my son's problems  in the UK.  French regulations state that I have to change my address on the Identity  Card within 3 months of moving.  Pushing a truck uphill would be easier.  I have tried websites, prefectures, messages to the government, but all attempts have failed.  On Saturday I went to the Mairie in Saumur and explained the problem.  The woman asked, 'Are you French?'  'No,' I replied 'but it is a French Identity Card.'  She shooed me away, saying if I wasn't French then she  couldn't help.  Three times I tried and three times she shooed.  I stood my ground.  I noticed that the old lady next to me was signing in with the date 24 June 2024.  Finally the receptionist relented and said she would go  and get someone's advice.  While she was gone I tried to help the old lady change the date but ...

 The climate emergency is here but rather than countries recognising that we only have one planet, which they are destroying, they put making money and retaining power, both at home and abroad, before a common goal of saving the world.  Do they think that when they have annihilated life as we know it on earth that they can just move to mars?  The young have every right to be angry.  The decisions concerning their future are being made by mostly oldish men wallowing in the depths of corruption. As you drive around France you see men in high visibility jackets ranged around fields and wielding guns.  They put out signs everywhere saying beware of the hunt, take care - hunting in progress.  No, we shouldn't be taking care, you are the ones with the guns and so  far this year a man has been killed in his own garden, another driving along in his car, a grandfather has killed his grandson and a grandson has shot his grandfather,  as well as numerous oth...

 While the sewage continues to run through the courtyard in front of my apartment I am sending daily, polite but firm, emails to the company who is supposed to manage the buildings.  It has got so bad that I can no longer leave my apartment by my front door and today is a public holiday so the situation just grinds on.  Yesterday the owners of 4 of the apartments held a meeting in the courtyard until the smell and the cold drove us into my kitchen.  One owner, Franck, said the company is so bad that we should just get rid of them and run the buildings ourselves.  Fighting talk.  My neighbours nodded in agreement, clearly not understanding the consequences of such an action, but Franck was determined.  Raising his arm in the air he declared, 'c'est la guerre!', 'this is war!'  Gosh, my own yellow vest in our courtyard.  They took a vote.  I said it was worth exploring but the immediate problem was getting the managers to take action on th...

 I opened a new packet of tin foil and I was having trouble tearing off a sheet.  Finally I reached for the scissors and cut it before examining the packet carefully.  There was no serrated edge. A pipe has broken in the communal courtyard and unfortunately it is the sewage pipe.   I rang the managing agents and said it was a health hazard, apart from a big hole that has appeared in the middle of the parking area.  She said that as the estimate for the repair is nearly a 1000€ a decision whether to repair it or not would have to wait until the owners' annual general meeting in December when they would  all have to agree to do  the work.  I pointed out that there was raw sewage running past the bottom of the steps,  which I must go up in order to get into the apartment but she would not be swayed.  I spoke to the other apartment owners.  One is depressed and just burst out crying, the young couple above me didn't really care but...

 It has been busy this week because my son and 6 year old grandson came to stay.  They were only here for five days so we reluctantly spent Tuesday morning waiting for a package to arrive as apparently it needed a signature.  The post lady arrived first about 11am but she said she didn't carry packages because she was on a bike.  Half an hour later another lady arrived and asked my neighbour where Madame lived.  He showed her my door but she didn't knock, simply put a card in the post box stating that I wasn't there and to collect it from the post office.  'Did you get your package?' my neighbour asked cheerfully.  'No,' I replied. On Wednesday we trooped off to the post office.  The woman took my card and went in search of my package.  Five minutes later she said she couldn't find it.   'Come back tomorrow after 2pm.'   So Thursday we all went back, in the pouring rain this time, but once again they couldn't find it....

I always pride myself on unpacking an entire house in one day, two at the most, and I kept to that tradition.  Unpacking wasn't the problem.  I was in control of that.  What I couldn't control was the incompetence of Orange, who still haven't done the job, leaving me with Wi-Fi only working in one room, a house phone that doesn't work in the living room, no television and a service (if you can call it that) which keeps you hanging on for hours.  I  also discovered that in this 300 year old apartment the electrics are not much newer.  Sockets are sparse and ancient, and the lighting is more or less non existent.  However, nowhere is perfect and it is so good to be able to walk everywhere or ride the bike. The plumber came to plumb in the dishwasher and washing machine, although first of all he had to create plumbing.  He and I stood and stared at the dishwasher, which was clearly too big for the space.  He was muttering a lot and was determine...

Today I will sign the papers for the apartment.  To accommodate the sellers the appointment with the notaire is not until 5pm so, although I pay the money and get the keys, nothing much more will happen.  The French have a way of stripping a house on their departure so will I find a light bulb in situ, a door hook or a toilet roll holder?  We will see.  l left all the light bulbs and the light fittings, toilet roll holders, complete with toilet rolls, hooks on all the bedroom doors and numerous other little helpful things. I went to the hospital the other day to see the geneticist.  She was a cheery soul.  She proposed that in order to avoid another bout of cancer I should have various things removed as a preventative measure.  I was explaining to  a friend who said, 'well at least you would be alive.'  Yes but without half my body parts, and what happens to all those empty spaces inside let alone adding the bits to replace the missing parts ...

The internet broke down where I am staying and, unfortunately, mobiles don't have any coverage either so for 3 days life has been difficult.  The notaire sent me papers that I couldn't get access to, nor the ones that Orange sent.   I went to Angers to get a bank cheque and was told it would take 2 days.  Why?  My son's account went down to zero and I couldn't transfer any money to it, and missing orders from Waterstone's to my son and grandson went unnoticed. All that disruption, and I am just one person.  A major attack on the system could bring the world to a standstill.  Some  have already tried and succeeded, at least to selected organisations. I enjoyed a lovely dinner in a restaurant on Tuesday before heading to the cinema to see James Bond.  It took me a long time to find a restaurant that actually served food before 7pm.  Even the Chinese restaurant, which is in spitting distance of the cinema, doesn't open before 7pm.  I d...

I finally  move in just over a week.   I have bought a television, although I am not sure what I will  be able to watch on it, and I have bought an electric hob to replace the gas presently in situ.  When I was 7 years old I was blown up in a gas explosion and I am still very wary of gas.  In fact I have never had gas central heating until now so that will be a new experience.  In Sudan I had bottled gas, which sat in the kitchen next to the cooker.  I decided to get someone to make a hole in the wall so that the gas bottle could sit outside in the courtyard.  Of course, that night someone came over the wall and stole the gas bottle.  So then I had a  cage built, the same as the one I had had constructed for the drums of fuel  for the generator.  That seemed to put the kybosh on our silent thieves stealing the gas and fuel but of course they still slid over the wall at night looking for other goodies.  My car, which w...

I am still walking around in shirts rather than sweaters, even though the days are getting shorter, the days gloomier and the temperatures lower.  I have three weeks to go until I move into the apartment,  just in time to turn the heating on and, according to reports, pay extortionate gas bills.  This is the first time I shall have had gas central heating and I am not over the moon about it.  Still, I would rather be here than in the UK where the problems are mounting - long delays in medical treatment, shortage of truck drivers and manpower.  'It's not the fault of Brexit,' I hear the 'leavers' cry, 'it's the pandemic.'  Obviously the pandemic hasn't helped but of course Brexit has largely contributed to the problems. A friend on the Isle of Wight has posted a picture of the White Hart pub with a notice on a blackboard outside, saying 'beer shortage coming soon, panic buy here.'  Don't you just love the British sense of humour?  That is ...

There are so many things to do when buying a property, electric, gas, water, insurance and so it goes on.  Doing everything in a foreign language is challenging but add to that the dreaded masks and it is a miracle I can understand anything.  This morning I went in search of house insurance.  It took precisely 30 seconds for the agent to remove her mask and for me to think, 'thank goodness', now I can understand what she is saying.  She asked me whether I had anything that was worth more than 400€ and was less than ten years old.   I thought about this and came to the conclusion that after a fairly long life I don't own anything of value, not monetary anyway.  She then recommended that I add specific robbery from the house.  Isn't that a contradiction in terms, after all I had just admitted that I owned nothing of value so what exactly would they steal that I would miss?  After all  they are hardly likely to want my photograph albums, or...

 Somewhere in the world there is a country holding a national election but in the states they are in the midst of election fever on a permanent basis.  Biden became President at the end of January yet 7 months later the main topic of conversation across the pond is the mid-term elections in 2022 and whether Trump will run in 2024.  I can understand the anxiety on both sides with the senate and congress so closely divided but wouldn't it be refreshing if all these well paid politicians would get some work done in the meantime?  Individual states are passing ridiculous laws restricting voting rights, relaxing gun laws, banning abortion and interfering in sensible rules on covid restrictions while the federal government sits on its hands doing nothing but hurling insults and talking about the next elections.  Give us a break. Meanwhile in France all sorts of people are jumping into the presidential race.  Will France finally vote for a woman?  I am not ho...

 I was in the UK for a  month and only  had to wear a mask once.  Here in France they must be worn in shops and all indoor spaces.  Following the introduction of having to be vaccinated in order to enter a café or restaurant, the French have rushed to get their shots, which means that the number of vaccinated in France has risen above those in the UK and the US.  Tough but it works and the vaccinated feel safer and more confident. On Sunday we celebrated my son's birthday early in a pseudo American restaurant in Chichester.  We were all in a jolly mood and my son took it in good part when he was serenaded by the waiters wearing strange clothes and 'playing' tambourines and triangles, carrying a 'bomb' dessert.  Bella didn't turn up so the question hangs in the air, 'who is Bella?' As I was being searched in Portsmouth prior to boarding the ferry, the official pointed out that my number plate desperately needed replacing  so today I went to a ...

 I took my grandson to the woods in the pouring rain.  'We can chat while we walk,' he said.  'That's a good idea,' I replied.   'So tell me everything you know about transformers,' he continued.  Well that was a quick chat. My son, grandson and I were in a shop full of mirrors, something akin to a torture chamber at my age.  'I look so old these days,' I said to my son.  My grandson piped up, 'yes you do but you're not old.'  I will try to take the positive from that one. Getting the NHS pass on my son's phone before he travels to France has been a nightmare.  Assuming the problem lay at my own technical incompetence, I asked his next door neighbour, a fireman, if he could help.  He failed.  Then the nurse who lives across the street.  She failed.  Finally my son.  He failed too but he had an answer.  It is the Huawei (not sure about the spelling) phone, it just won't complete the actions required.  Ur...

I went to Southampton the other day and took my sister with me.  Travelling anywhere with my sister is a liability, worse than with a child.  She disappears so silently and without warning.  This means that rather than looking round the shops I am constantly watching her.  After we had been shopping for a couple of hours, she said, 'I have bought loads of things and you haven't bought anything.'  No, I wonder why.  We made our way back to the railway station and got on the train, which wasn't due to leave for another ten minutes.  Finally I could relax, she was sitting opposite me, no escape.  After about 8 minutes she asked, 'Which stop is this?'  I thought I had misheard so I asked her what she had said.  'Which stop is this?' she repeated.  'Southampton Central,' I replied.  The man sitting across the aisle exploded with laughter.  Nonplussed she said, 'it must have been the other train that was moving.'   The...

 I took my 5 year old grandson to Wendover Woods with the aim of walking through the woods, playing hide and seek and cowboys.  When we arrived he noticed the zip line, which is part of Go Ape (acrobranching in France).  I have done Go Ape numerous times with other grandchildren and children but this was a special one for younger children.  I explained that you can't just do the zip line, you have to go right round the course in order to get to the zip line.  'Let's do it then,' he said.  I wanted to make sure he was up for it so I explained that we would be going up high and at times it would be scary.  This did not deter him, so we signed up, were fitted out with harnesses and given instructions'.  All went well until we reached one particular crossing and suddenly he refused to move.  'I've changed my mind,' he said, 'let's go back.'  It doesn't work like that, there is no going back, and as other children waited patiently behind us, ...

The UK seems to be operating on the basis that there is no virus.  Masks are rarely seen, little is being reported in the papers,  it is not the main topic of conversation in the street and social distancing doesn't exist.  I did see a testing table set up in Chesham high street but it was for one day only and they didn't seem to be doing much business. I went to Brighton on Sunday with my son and sister.  The old 'Lanes' have been reduced to a few jewellery shops and lots of cafes and the town was packed.  Openly gay people walk hand in hand through the streets in great numbers while others stroll around in gold lurex dresses. As we were heading back to the station the police arrived and blocked the road for an approaching cycle rally.   Living in France I have seen many cycle races go past but not quite like this one.  Here were 200 totally naked cyclists pedalling by while people cheered them on enthusiastically.  Some of them had put on s...

 While France is introducing strict rules for socialising, meaning only vaccinated people can socialise, here in the UK pandemic rules appear to have gone out of the window.  Apparently everyone can choose whether to wear a mask in shops and other indoor venues so the majority choose not to.   In France there has been little impact on medical interventions with treatment being continued for major diseases such as heart and cancer, as well as more minor operations.  Throughout the pandemic I have been able to go and see my GP, had my cataracts done, visited the dentist for a check up and had cancer surgery and follow up treatment. Here in the UK, you still can't go in person to the doctor's surgery, all diagnoses and treatment being conducted over the telephone, not even a video call.  My daughter in law, who is diabetic, has not seen a doctor or even a nurse for nearly 2 years.  The backlog of operations is so enormous that the experts believe it will ...

I had to cut down a tree to provide the paperwork that I need to get to the UK.  I tried scanning it on to my phone but it would only scan the French vaccination certificate, not the EU one, nor the test certificate.  Then, in my temporary accommodation, my laptop wouldn't connect to my printer.   While I am having to carry around a locater form (4 pages), a vaccination certificate, a test certificate, 2 pages, Boris Johnson is trying to duck and dive out of following rules that everyone else has to adhere to. After 2 days in a caravan with no toilet or water, I am now comfortably installed in a friend's gite.  The same friend will have his heart operation on Tuesday.  In the UK another friend, who needs the same procedure, has been told it would not be done for 3 years because of the backlog in the NHS.   In France the backlog is minimal  and doesn't exist at all for cancer and heart, or any other major disease. I think some people just want...

 It had to happen didn't it?  Moving day, and it was pouring with rain.  I wanted to leave the house clean for the new owners but as I watched the mop and bucket disappearing into the truck, I realised that all I could impart was mud.  There is lots of it, undisguisable on a light coloured tile floor and it continues up the stairs.  I swept as much dirt as I could with an ashpan and brush but it was like sweeping the sand out of the house in Khartoum.  Upstairs the dark brown wood hides what must be a ton of mud, lurking, just waiting for bare feet to turn black at a moment's notice. I wandered up to the first floor checking that each room was indeed empty and then up to the second floor.  There, sitting all on its own in the middle of an empty room, was a box that the removers had forgotten - and it was heavy.  I phoned the removal company.  'Can you drop it off at our depot' she asked.  You have to be kidding.  I can't even lift i...

 This morning, with my head full of things I still have to do, I got on the tram and forgot to scan my ticket.  The inspector got on 2 stops later and said I had to pay 45€ for this lapse.  Why can't I scan it now?  a reasonable question in my opinion, was met with scorn, so I  paid up.  On the tram back from the hospital there she was again and checked my ticket with glee.  While she was doing that a young man got on, sat down  and did not show any sign of even having a ticket, let alone scanning one.   The inspector passed him by without a second glance.   Today is the last day for packing and organising.  Tomorrow the removal company will arrive at 6am to take it all away and put it in storage.  Tomorrow night I will sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor and Thursday I go to the hospital to be nuked for the last time.  The sleeping bag is the one that saved me from hypothermia when a friend and I were lost for ...

 I am under pressure.  I have 3 days until the removers come, I am still doing my daily trips to the hospital, the paperwork is piling up and I am being frustrated by not being able  to complete things.  Orange just doesn't answer the phone, or at least they do with a recorded message saying they can't answer the phone.  I have tried dealing with them online but the scenarios offered don't include my situation.  The don't operate on Saturdays and during the week they work 9 to 5.  Pathetic.  Meanwhile I need a covid test.  One test centre leaves you hanging then cuts you off, another wanted to charge an extortionate amount of money so finally I managed to get an appointment miles away.  I am planning a trip to the UK (fingers crossed Johnson doesn't put France on the red list) but you can't complete the locater form until 48 hours before travel when I will be living temporarily in a caravan with no internet access.   I am still...

 You would think that with all the stuff I have given away, sold or taken  to the tip, there would be nothing left to chuck out but you would be wrong.  Every day I get up at 4.00am and drive to the hospital in Angers to get nuked.  I leave the car in the park  and ride and take the tram, and nearly every day the inspectors get on to check the tickets.  Not one inspector, 7 or 8 of them, entering by every door so that no-one can escape. I sit smugly watching while people are fined or ejected from the tram as the only time I didn't have a ticket was because the machine was out of order.  Yesterday I reached into my bag, pulled out my ticket and handed it to the inspector.  Her machine beeped and lit  up red.  Out of date.  I scrabbled around in my bag and found another, and another.  Eight in all, and everyone out of date.  The other inspectors had finished their inspecting and were now gathered round me watching my antics....

 Putting books  into cartons is easy.  Clearing out drawers that are full of bits is an irritating, time consuming nightmare.  I don't usually stay this long in one house so I don't normally accumulate much, but 10 years is a long time.  You know what it's like.  Where do spare batteries belong?  Open a drawer and shove them in, until you find that in one drawer are spare shoelaces, band-aids, aspirin, so out of date they would probably give you a headache rather than curing one.  Add to that, a book-mark - no make that 3 bookmarks - a memory stick, a whisky flask, a camera, assorted pens, paper clips, an old telephone and a penknife I confiscated from one of my sons when they were teenagers.  They are now in their fifties.  And it's not just one drawer.  There is one in the kitchen, one in the dining room, bedside table and oh yes I have just found a plastic box full of odd electrical items, computer cables and the like, things who...

 Whether I like it or not I am a morning person.  In the middle of my radiotherapy treatment I get up at 4.45am, leave at 6am, drive an hour,  take a tram, for an early appointment at the hospital, which lasts about 20 minutes, and then do it in reverse - every day.  Once home I pack boxes - I have just finished packing box number 36.  I have the weekends off so what did I do this morning?  I got up at 5am, went for an early morning walk at 6am, came home and started packing boxes. I love the subject of the universe, rockets going to the moon and mars and beyond but I can't seem to get excited, or even interested in Branson and Bezos going up in their own private rockets.  Crossing the Atlantic in Concorde was far more interesting.

 I have moved so many times there are few things to which I  am attached.  What with burglaries, 'lost at sea', and downsizing, upsizing and downsizing again, most of my original belongings have long disappeared.  Despite all this I have clung on to photographs, some in albums so heavy I can hardly lift them, but in this age of digital everything it is important to me to keep hold of them.  How many billions of digital pictures lay forgotten on old laptops and phones?  Does anyone look at them once they have been posted on social media?  Probably never so I shall keep lugging them round the world with me and when I die the children can get rid of them if they so wish -if they dare!  I am definitely up for a bit of haunting from my afterlife. So that, a few family mementoes and my published works are what are important for me to keep.  However, when it comes to my children and grandchildren their priorities take a different course. I am moving...

 I am moving house, I need temporary accommodation for two months, I have packed 24 boxes so far, no-one wants to buy my furniture, I am undergoing treatment for cancer, I haven't seen my family for a year and not likely to see them for some time and it is raining.  Well of course it is, it's Wimbledon. So when my sister said she couldn't understand how I was coping with it all, I confidently replied, 'well I know what I am doing'.  I have moved more than 39 times, so have had plenty of practice.  I have had cancer before too so I am an old hand at that as well but I can't count on other things or people tipping over the apple cart or putting more hurdles in my way, just to test my resilience. A Tory MP, commenting on Matt Hancock's resignation as Health Secretary said, 'he is a man of great honour, an honourable man, which is why he has done the honourable thing and resigned.'  He knowingly broke the rules and cheated on his wife, so where exactly i...

 On Saturday I sat in the sunshine in a café in Saumur with friends.  We had a good laugh and then we went our separate ways.  I strolled across the bridge to the island where I had left my car and drove out of Saumur onto the main road.  Then it happened - the sunshine turned to floods in seconds.  I couldn't see the road or the sides of the road.  Cars were forced to stop and put their flashers on but you could barely see them so I decided to keep driving.  It was a nightmare journey, the rain was so heavy and the visibility down to nil, it reminded me of the hurricanes we used to have in the States. I eventually made it home through floods and downed trees.  In the 6 feet between my car and the house I became soaked right through, and the power was off.  It stayed  off until 7am the next morning, 16  hours later.  I have an all electric house so I couldn't even make a cup of tea.  I gazed wistfully into the fridge and f...

 Yesterday I went to the hospital (again) to see the radiotherapist and hopefully get dates of my treatment but that was not to be.  They need my records from when I had radiotherapy 19 years ago in the UK!  They have left me to try to find out how they can do it.   'Just get an email address and we can put in an official request,' she said.  E mail addresses from the NHS?  You must be kidding.  The first task is to get them to answer the phone. Someone must have read my plea to remove the mask wearing outside because they have, at last.  Some people have taken it a step further.  On the tram yesterday I spotted 9 people not wearing a mask at all, numerous people with it down below their chin and most of the others with it under their nose.  I felt like ripping  mine off too, they are hot and uncomfortable, but I am British, I obey the law. My son was supposed to come in July but EasyJet have cancelled all their flights.  ...

 The year before last I dropped a bottle  of whisky while unpacking the shopping.  I rushed to get the mop but before I could do much most of the whisky had run under the fitted cupboards.  Short of dismantling the kitchen there was little I could do, apart from picking up  the glass.  This morning the bottle of softener slid from my hands,  bounced on the tiled floor, spun round and managed to cover just about everything.  My bare feet skated, ungraciously, across the floor,  which was like  a sheet of ice, but warm.   Unable to stay upright I grabbed a cloth from  under the sink and tried to clear a path for me to walk on.  Having failed miserably I managed  to crawl to where I keep the mop.  When I returned most of it had seeped under the cupboards, leaving a slippery film across the floor.  It smelled better than the whisky but oh dear, so  much more difficult to clean up.  I hope my buyer...

The news this week has featured the G7 in Cornwall, although all the shots show nine, and they are nearly outnumbered by the royal family.  There they all are standing within 6 inches of each other, chatting and laughing, and then you see their ridiculous elbow bumps, instead of shaking hands.  Add to that the photo shoot where they sit 2 metres  apart.  What's the point?  That is not following science, that is defying logic.  While on  the subject of logic, why, in France, are we made to walk about outside with masks, which are hot, uncomfortable and in 30 degree heat, downright stupid.  It is time to ditch the masks outside. Numbers of covid cases have dropped dramatically in France, so much so that the numbers are below those in the UK, so why do we still have  to quarantine for 10 days in the UK?  While I am on this rant I am losing patience with people who are just too lazy to go and get vaccinated.  They want the freedom with ...

 How many passwords can one hold in  the head?  How many things can one do at once?  I know women are multi-taskers but does that mean physically we can do more than one thing at once or that our brains are set up to think about multiple things at the same time?  My brain is at saturation point, full of words, numbers, squiggles, cryptic passwords, nonsensical ones, and they tell us not to  write them down!  Even Einstein wrote his theories on a blackboard,  he didn't try to keep them all in his poor head. I have moved so often that I am more or less a minimalist but I have always lived in fairly large properties and this time I am moving into a very small apartment, which means I have to get rid of stuff, lots of it, and this is no easy task.  It's in good nick so I would like to sell some of it but that is no easy task.  I may have to cut my losses and give it all to charity, who are already receiving a fair chunk of it. Someone slappe...

 I don't use the phrase lightly but in the UK the biggest rip off is the cost of having a test for  covid 19.  I would like to  highlight a small but equally irritating rip off in France.  On Tuesday I bought a box of 50 Green Tea with mint teabags for 2,25€.  Yesterday in a café in Angers I was charged 3,90€ for 1 cup of green tea with mint using 1 teabag.  It is not much better in Saumur where the cost is 3,65€.  Nothing can justify this , absolutely nothing. I was told yesterday that the doctors had removed all the cancerous cells along with the tumour during my operation two weeks ago.  Reprieve for me for a while, but not for a friend who sadly died this morning after deteriorating over several months. I  have noticed that since companies have relied on the internet to  conduct their business they are asking the customer to do more and more of their work.  When I was looking for an estate agent one asked me to measure all...

In April, we were slapping on sun cream and in May we were huddled up in winter coats but for the last two days it is has been lovely, warm and sunny.  For how long I don't know but it arrived just as the cafes and restaurants were opening up.  There is nothing quite like sitting in a French café watching the world go by. I made a comment in my last blog about my bruises looking like modern art and I received a comment saying that modern art fetches high prices these days.  This is true, the only difference being that I can't be hung on the wall and I am past my sell by date. France has stopped Brits from travelling here because of the variant in the UK but numbers, though rising in some places, are still less than here, people vaccinated are far more and deaths are lower.  So come on France, my family have booked their travel for July and I am desperate to see them.  French friends are convinced it is political but the truth is that our lives are going to be di...

 I did the rounds of estate agents this week.  I had an appointment in one for 10am.  I went in to the man's office and began  to explain what I was looking for but only managed 2 sentences when his mobile rang.  He picked it up and answered it and in response to the caller he then  turned to his computer and started to bring up information for whoever was on the phone.  I waited a couple of minutes and then got up and walked out.  The man in the next office ran after me and asked if I had a problem.  I said that I didn't have a problem but his agency did when the mobile phone takes priority over a client who is sitting right in front of them.  He begged me to stay but it was too late.  I left him berating the other man about answering his phone. Is Trump finally going to jail?  I doubt it despite numerous cases being built against him.  He has sloping shoulders and everything seems to run off them no  matter how seri...

For the first time in 16 months I had someone come to stay.  My son came from the UK to look after me following my operation and sadly, all too soon, he has gone again.  How wonderful it was though to have someone to talk to in  the flesh rather than via WhatsApp and skype.  This weekend we went to a café in Saumur and passed a pleasant hour chatting with friends who we hadn't seen for well over a year.  Even this unusual cold and wet weather that we are having failed to dampen the spirits of the many people simply enjoying each others' company.   A friend asked me why I am moving - again.  I have itchy feet, I do not like living in the same place for too long and I enjoy moving, doing something different.  The thing I can't get my head round is being asked if I am moving because I am getting old.  Am I looking for a type of sheltered housing?  Really?  Give me a break.  Ok I am a bit incapacitated at the moment, covered i...

Yesterday I was burning rubber again between my house and the hospital for pre-op procedures.  The first appointment was at 9am in the Nuclear building.  The doctor looked me straight in the eye and said 'This procedure won't hurt,' then she thrust 3 very long needles into me.  She lied.  Of course it hurt. The second appointment was at 11.45am so I had over 2 hours to kill.  With shops and cafes still closed I decided to go for a walk along the river.  May has not been a typical month this year, cold with lots of rain, so the path was muddy.  Undeterred I trudged on and managed to waste an hour of the waiting time.  On my return to the hospital I wound myself round several corridors and ended up in a waiting room all by myself.  After about half an hour a voice in the corridor called to a colleague, 'Who's left all this mud everywhere?'  I looked down at my boots and there on my trousers, my boots and the surrounding area was mud. ...

 I was travelling by train from Charles de Gaulle to Angers a few years ago.  The train guard announced that there was a piece of luggage without a name on it and he asked for the owner to well 'own up'.  No-one responded so at the next station, the train made an unscheduled stop and threw the case on to the platform.  This morning in Lidl's a man was shopping with his mask  down below his chin.  The staff told him to wear the mask properly but he refused,  saying that the regulations say that he must wear a mask,  which he was doing, they didn't say it had to cover his nose and mouth.  The wife stood quietly, fully masked, shuffling her feet.  At that point the staff, 3 of them,  confiscated his trolley and told him to get out.  He protested but faced with determined staff and outraged shoppers he stood no chance.  He didn't go quietly but he did go.  I have seen  shoppers gang up before, especially female ones,...

 I can't believe it is May already, especially as the temperatures plummeted and the rain came in.  Even the cuckoo has been quiet the last few days.    Tennis is cancelled - again, which is even more frustrating when we have three indoor courts but no-one is allowed to use them due to the pandemic.  I thought I ought to look for somewhere to live as the house sale is going through but estate agents are still closed to clients and their websites are pitiful, so much so that I am surprised they sell anything at all. The surgeon who is going to wield her knife on me soon said I have to go to the hospital the day before to have a '?'.  It didn't matter how often she repeated the word I couldn't understand and it is so difficult when everyone is wearing a mask.  Finally she googled it and declared with triumph that it meant 'metal wire'.  Nonplussed I asked what was going to happen with this metal wire?  She said someone would insert it in to me ...

My life is like  the buses, I sit around for a year during the pandemic doing nothing and then just as someone finally buys my house, cancer raises its ugly head again.  At this point cancer news is more manageable than being homeless.  The hospital  tells you what to do, where to be and when and basically all I have to do is turn up.  July will be a testing time as that is when I have to get out of the house, start follow up treatment and live..?  The first time I had cancer, I was made redundant, was job hunting and started a new job a week after the operation.  The new job was  working in prisons and during radiotherapy I had to go to Dartmoor prison where I was organising and leading a big conference.  I  went for the radiotherapy at 7am and drove straight to Dartmoor.  The Governor introduced me,  and congratulated me on getting there despite having been microwaved that morning.  The audience, of course, didn't know w...

I am not surprised at Erdogan's behaviour towards the President of the European Commission.  Since he took over, Turkey has gone from being a secular country, with comparative freedom for the press and the judicial system, to a dictatorship where women are tied to the kitchen sink.  The person I am most annoyed at is Monsieur Michel, who instead of speaking up or at least offering his seat to the President of the Commission, stretched his legs out and ignored her.  If Europe is going to give way to sexist dictators and the like then we are doomed as a female race.  Have we really fought so hard for so long to be subjected to this behaviour by our leaders in Europe? I have to question why French drivers move into the middle of the road in order to turn a corner, seemingly oblivious to the fact that traffic is coming towards them. I need to sell some furniture but it is far more difficult that one might think.  I have a very old dining room table in very good cond...

With everything happening at once, including an offer on the house, I set to sorting, filing  and destroying paper, tons of the stuff.  Anything with personal information I shredded, some I tore up and nearly all my teaching stuff I just threw away.   Paper has to be taken to the  recycling bin, a hundred yards from the house, not a great distance, but paper is heavy.  Have you ever tried to put shredded paper through, what is essentially, a letter box?  It takes on a life of its own, flying off in all directions, clinging to bushes, landing in what looks and feels like oil while some is simply carried away by the wind.  I am very conscious of littering, and besides, there is a sign threatening big fines if found not putting everything in the bin, so I have spent an inordinate amount of time chasing tiny pieces of paper around the countryside. I made ten trips to the recycling bin before I had finally completed my task of sorting out and destroyin...

 It has been a somewhat tumultuous week with good news followed by bad news all in one day.  With my head full of the complications of both I spent a totally sleepless night, pacing the house and making lists.  I find that therapeutic.  Yes I know I am odd.  When  I turned the news on I heard the Duke of Edinburgh had died.  At 99 it was not surprising but like our own death, we know it is coming but somehow we hope it never will.   I met the Duke of Edinburgh twice, once when I was only 15 years of age.  We had sailed over from Portchester Yacht Club to participate in Cowes Week and while registering  our arrival in Cowes Yacht Club we came across the Duke propping up the bar.  I had never seen television so I had only seen his picture in the newspapers but there was no mistaking him.  He was with three other men and they were being rather loud.  The Duke's contribution to the conversation was littered with swear wor...

I, like many others, have looked at empty pages in my diary for over a year now.  Recently I have been able to play tennis two or three times a week and found great pleasure in writing it in.  Now all has changed with yet another lockdown.  The tennis courts are 14km from the house and the limit  for going anywhere is 10km.  So I was staring at my blank week in the diary when the telephone rang and for once it wasn't a junk call.  It was the man who does the inspection of my septic tank.  Oh happy days, something is happening this week. I got the scissors out yesterday and set about cutting 3 inches off the bottom of my hair.  This is not easy, but I have done it before so was quite confident that I could do it again.  I stared at the result in the mirror and the only word that came to mind was 'wonky'. Apparently we should all stand on one leg for one minute a day and then 10 seconds on one leg with our eyes shut.  This should stop us a...

 Had Macron spoken a few hours later we could  all  have dismissed his speech as an April fool's joke but unfortunately it wasn't and we are back in lockdown, although with the curfew and cafes closed etc it has never felt as though we left lockdown.  Will outside tennis stop?  I hope not but I am waiting to hear. This morning the cuckoo appeared dead on cue.  Is it really a year since we were first locked up? I phoned one of my sisters this morning.  We were six but my eldest brother died, followed by my eldest sister.  The sister I spoke to is next in age and the conversation went like this.  'I hope we are not dying in order of age,' she said, 'because that would make me next.'  'So would you prefer that one of us goes first?' I asked, meaning another sister, a brother and myself, all younger. 'Well you have already had cancer so by rights it should be you next,' she replied.  Thanks, I'll see what I can do.

I went to get my first jab on Thursday at the local hospital, or rather closed down hospital now re-opened partially, in order to vaccinate people.  Armed with all my pieces of paper I joined 15 other people in a waiting room.  Each of us was given a clipboard with yet another form to complete but only after we had shown our identity cards.  One harassed man was co-ordinating this task  and I did feel sorry for him.  The people were elderly, some very elderly, and the man soon realised that most of them were incapable of filling out their  forms so he had to go round each one and do it for them.  This delayed people going through to the next stage. Eventually the first three people disappeared through the doors.  I had already been there nearly an hour when it was finally my turn but all that happened was that I was sat in another waiting room.  Once called from that room I was ushered into the cubicle for my injection but not before showing ...

 Yesterday  I finally got a form from my doctor saying I was eligible  to get the vaccine so put aside today to try and get an appointment.  Last evening an irate person from Thouars hospital phoned to ask why I hadn't kept my appointment at Mauleon, which is a fair distance from  where I live.  I told him I didn't have one, although I would like one, but he was not happy.  This morning I went on to  the appointment site and managed to book an appointment for tomorrow.  Incredible.  After months of there being no available appointments I get one immediately.  I suspect it will be the Astra Zeneca vaccine because people have been  put off having it but I don't care which one it is.  Now the problem is will I be able to play tennis on Friday with a sore arm?

In the midst of the appalling effort to role out the vaccine in France, including pausing the Astra Zenica vaccine, Macron had the nerve to devote a large part of his speech to the nation, talking  about vaccine passports.  Really?  Who exactly will be able to have a vaccine passport when it is almost impossible to  get a vaccine? Then to add insult to the situation he declared that he and the Prime Minister would be receiving the Astra Zeneca vaccine in order to restore confidence in it.  So now two healthy, young men have the vaccine while the elderly and sick are still waiting. Every week I write a story for my five year old grandson.  He gives me 2 words and I have to be creative with them.  I have had a crow and wellington boots, Batman and an igloo, an ant and an aeroplane and many others.  Each week I think it will be impossible to create a story round the words but every week I come up with something.  This week it is a twig and a pen...

 You would think that with Macron up for election next year, he would be taking decisive action to get everyone vaccinated.   Instead his decisive action means that all appointments have stopped while he dithers about whether Astra Zenica is safe.  Of course he knows it is safe but is following his German masters.  Today he and Italy decided they would continue with the vaccine but rather than giving permission for that to happen immediately, he has said he would allow the go ahead, maybe tomorrow, after the EU has confirmed that it is safe.  For heavens sake,  can't he see that numbers contracting covid wouldn't be going up if he vaccinated the population and the economy would recover quicker?  They haven't even managed to vaccinate the over 75s yet. I have decided to get rid of all the baby stuff taking up space in my house, on the assumption that my sons have stopped producing and my grandsons aren't about to start, although they are old enough...