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It won't hurt

Yesterday I was burning rubber again between my house and the hospital for pre-op procedures.  The first appointment was at 9am in the Nuclear building.  The doctor looked me straight in the eye and said 'This procedure won't hurt,' then she thrust 3 very long needles into me.  She lied.  Of course it hurt.

The second appointment was at 11.45am so I had over 2 hours to kill.  With shops and cafes still closed I decided to go for a walk along the river.  May has not been a typical month this year, cold with lots of rain, so the path was muddy.  Undeterred I trudged on and managed to waste an hour of the waiting time.  On my return to the hospital I wound myself round several corridors and ended up in a waiting room all by myself.  After about half an hour a voice in the corridor called to a colleague, 'Who's left all this mud everywhere?'  I looked down at my boots and there on my trousers, my boots and the surrounding area was mud.  Later when I left the hospital I could trace my journey to the exit just by following the trail of mud.

Meanwhile, the second doctor didn't bother telling me that it wouldn't hurt.  She pushed 5 or 6 long needles in me without a second thought.  After all only a fool would think that 6 needles weren't going to cause some pain.  Leaving the hospital with about 6 layers of plasters on me I was threatened with virtual annihilation if I so much as attempted to remove them.  I wouldn't dare.


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