Mad Darby Diaries

They deserve each other.  They are both womanisers, they lie, they are delusional, need I go on.  The main difference is intelligence.  Trump, despite telling the world that he is a genius is in fact an idiot.  Johnson is a buffoon,  which makes him an idiot, but he is a clever idiot. Don't get me on Gove, who supports anyone or anything that is going to further his career.  Sycophant comes to mind. When you consider who is running the world these days I despair, Putin, Trump, Maduro, Netanahyo,  (deliberate spelling mistake), Kim Jung Un, Xi.  Ad infinitum.  I am reluctant to point out that they are all men after May made such a pig's ear over brexit but well they are. Has anyone noticed that men can't put a duvet cover on?  They do tend to brag about their ability to put things together but they can't seem to get the concept of duvet covers.  Maybe that should be the test before we make them world leaders.  

Yesterday I left the house at 7.00am and returned at 7.30pm.  A long day.   Our tennis club was participating in a tournament involving 5 other clubs.  In the morning I won my two matches.  My teammates (all French) lost theirs.  It was a hot day and there was no shade so we were glad to stop for a bite to eat.  The organisers brought round orange juice and rose wine.  I declined both, sticking to water.  I can't play tennis after drinking wine, even more so in the heat.  My teammates all took the wine, laughing at me for being so abstemious.  I glanced around and noticed that the other teams were drinking wine as well. An hour later we re-commenced our matches.  I lost my match and all my teammates won.  Did I miss out on a good glass of wine for nothing? I notice that many people in the UK didn't get to have a vote in the European elections.  In France, the Brits are complaining that their voting slips didn't a...

I have just arrived back in France after babysitting for 10 days.  Before I left my daughter in law suggested that I put cayenne pepper by the front door to stop the ants coming in during my absence.  It works!  In ten days the roses have all come out (not in my garden - I only grow weeds)  and the cuckoo is still cuckooing.   The traffic on my road is still breaking the 50km limit and I am going to start a petition as letters to the Maire do not work. Theresa May has finally stepped down and although the British may think it has been a long time coming, it is still a lot quicker and easier to get rid of a British Prime Minister than to get rid of Trump, who has thrown his toys out of his pram and said I won't talk to you anymore unless you stop being horrible to me.  Pathetic. I rode my bike to the village this morning and was stopped by a man walking his dog.  He said he was new in the area and wanted to know where the path went.  Am...

I am baby sitting in the UK this week so no time for the wicked.  How many people are familiar with that phrase?  I went to post my daughter-in-law's voting slip trailing a 3 year old with me of course.   I  stopped a woman with 2 young children and asked where the nearest pillar box was. She looked at my grandson and then at me with an alarmed look on her face and said, "lost, how is he lost?" 'He' waved the voting slip cheerfully while I said 'no he isn't lost, I'm looking for a pillar box.'  The woman stared at me madly, grabbed the children and rushed off. I went into a newsagent's and asked where the nearest pillar box was. 'In the church, that's where they always put them.'  'In the church? 'I queried, not quite believing what I was hearing.  'Yes love, but you have the wrong day,  next week is polling day.'  I left the shop and wandered down the street.  I asked a man who was washing his car.  At his puzzle...

In February and March the weather was lovely.  Lots of sun, no rain and high temperatures.  In May, when my family came to visit it was cold, rainy and cloudy.  It was fun though with laughter all the way to La Rochelle and Puy de Fou, which never fails to delight.  The female visitors were saying that they needed to lose some weight and were thinking of taking up skipping, even having a go in my courtyard before collapsing into a heap.  Ten minutes later they were in the car sharing out chocolate.  Difficult to lose weight using that strategy.  One evening when it was particularly gloomy I lit the candles.  One visitor remarked that you can now buy remote candles.  'What's that?' I asked mystified.  They have a special lighting system so you can sit on the sofa and click on them like a television remote apparently.  Yet another weight losing avoidance dodge. I took them to the Troglodyte village.  Gregorian music was playin...

Apparently today is Naked Gardening Day.  Really?  Even if you have a non-exposed garden you would certainly have an exposed body to prickles, insects, thorns and a million other things that can get you in a garden.   I don't know what the weather is like elsewhere but where I live it is fairly cool with black clouds overhead threatening rain.  I don't like gardening at the best of times and certainly not naked today.  Nudity is great but why would anyone in their right mind want to do the gardening in such a state? Yesterday I had to go and buy another machine to powerwash the courtyard as the other one was kaput.  It took me 2 hours to figure out how to put it together and another 4 hours powerwashing.  I can't seem to do the job without covering myself in water and dirt so I had donned my golfing waterproof trousers and jacket and wellington boots.  I still ended up with dirt all over my face and in my hair but that wasn't the worst of ...

It is clear that in the US there is too much power in the hands of the President.  The Attorney General, who is the Attorney for the people, not the President, seems to have forgotten that.  Yesterday he brought a whole new meaning to the word 'obfuscate' as he ducked and dived every question put to him, at times providing answers that were totally bewildering or pretending not to remember or even worse seeming not to understand the question. I went into the kitchen to get some lunch when I spotted out of the window my neighbour's huge Alaskan type dog standing in the middle of the road.  For a split second I thought of leaving him there as a new type of traffic calming measure.   I went out and tried to push him on to the sidewalk but with no collar and the sheer size and weight of him I could not budge him but was left to simply wave to the traffic to slow down.  He was filthy, obviously having found a nice, muddy ditch to roll around in.   I...