I put on 2 kilos in weight while I was in the UK. This is unusual for me as I don't normally put on any weight. I mention it in passing because at the end of the week it will be a distant memory.
On Sunday I had a tennis match for the club team. I lost and although I have managed to keep my place in the 2nd team I suspect that next season I will be demoted to the 3rd. On Tuesday I played 2 matches, one in the morning and one in the evening. What idiot agrees to do that? I lost the one in the morning, which I thought I would win and won the one in the evening, which I felt sure I would lose.
On Monday I met up with friends to discuss the walk, which I am going to lead tomorrow. They had planned the route but weren't able to do the actual walk. After detailed explanations I suspected that they didn't really have confidence that I wouldn't lose 12 people in the French countryside. I told them not to worry, I got it, but truthfully I shared their lack of confidence so this morning I decided to do a dummy run. I parked the car and set off following the ordnance survey map and after an hour I congratulated myself on having followed it correctly. This is always a mistake. As I reached the top of a long woodland path I was supposed to turn right but there was a fence across. I had no option but to turn left, which took me down a steep hill to a village in totally the wrong direction. I phoned my friend. 'Houston we have a problem'
He said he would work out another route for tomorrow so I had no option but to return the way I had come. Steep hills are so pleasant going down. I staggered back up it and when I reached the top I noticed that the fence had been removed. Luckily it was laying on the ground otherwise I would have doubted my sanity. I was back on the original route. I turned right again and after about 200 metres I was stopped by a man with a gun. The good thing was he was smiling, the bad thing was that his gun was not cocked but ready to fire. 'You are trespassing', he said, 'you must leave immediately.' I showed him my map. 'This route is forbidden, it is private property belonging to the Chateau.' 'Come with me,' he said and pointed to what looked like a gamekeeper's cabin. For once I was glad I was fairly old. He was hardly likely to ravage me. I wasn't sure what was happening as he had told me to leave and then prevented me from doing so.'
Without taking his eyes off me he telephoned someone and said he had caught a trespasser. Hardly caught, I thought but then changed my mind as I looked at the gun and my surroundings. After about five minutes another man arrived on a tractor. He was wearing a brown felt trilby hat, which looked slightly incongruous on a tractor driver but he had a twinkle in his eye and a pleasant smile. 'Come on', he said. so I followed him out. Well who wouldn't follow a handsome Frenchman in a brown trilby? He helped me up into his tractor and we drove off across a muddy field. We stopped at the top of a long footpath and he told me to keep walking straight until I reached the road. I sunk deep into mud and water and sloshed my way down to the road. Was this my punishment for trespassing? I phoned my friend. 'I have worked out another route' he said gaily. I hope so. I am still in danger of losing 12 people tomorrow.
On Sunday I had a tennis match for the club team. I lost and although I have managed to keep my place in the 2nd team I suspect that next season I will be demoted to the 3rd. On Tuesday I played 2 matches, one in the morning and one in the evening. What idiot agrees to do that? I lost the one in the morning, which I thought I would win and won the one in the evening, which I felt sure I would lose.
On Monday I met up with friends to discuss the walk, which I am going to lead tomorrow. They had planned the route but weren't able to do the actual walk. After detailed explanations I suspected that they didn't really have confidence that I wouldn't lose 12 people in the French countryside. I told them not to worry, I got it, but truthfully I shared their lack of confidence so this morning I decided to do a dummy run. I parked the car and set off following the ordnance survey map and after an hour I congratulated myself on having followed it correctly. This is always a mistake. As I reached the top of a long woodland path I was supposed to turn right but there was a fence across. I had no option but to turn left, which took me down a steep hill to a village in totally the wrong direction. I phoned my friend. 'Houston we have a problem'
He said he would work out another route for tomorrow so I had no option but to return the way I had come. Steep hills are so pleasant going down. I staggered back up it and when I reached the top I noticed that the fence had been removed. Luckily it was laying on the ground otherwise I would have doubted my sanity. I was back on the original route. I turned right again and after about 200 metres I was stopped by a man with a gun. The good thing was he was smiling, the bad thing was that his gun was not cocked but ready to fire. 'You are trespassing', he said, 'you must leave immediately.' I showed him my map. 'This route is forbidden, it is private property belonging to the Chateau.' 'Come with me,' he said and pointed to what looked like a gamekeeper's cabin. For once I was glad I was fairly old. He was hardly likely to ravage me. I wasn't sure what was happening as he had told me to leave and then prevented me from doing so.'
Without taking his eyes off me he telephoned someone and said he had caught a trespasser. Hardly caught, I thought but then changed my mind as I looked at the gun and my surroundings. After about five minutes another man arrived on a tractor. He was wearing a brown felt trilby hat, which looked slightly incongruous on a tractor driver but he had a twinkle in his eye and a pleasant smile. 'Come on', he said. so I followed him out. Well who wouldn't follow a handsome Frenchman in a brown trilby? He helped me up into his tractor and we drove off across a muddy field. We stopped at the top of a long footpath and he told me to keep walking straight until I reached the road. I sunk deep into mud and water and sloshed my way down to the road. Was this my punishment for trespassing? I phoned my friend. 'I have worked out another route' he said gaily. I hope so. I am still in danger of losing 12 people tomorrow.
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