Life in a supermarket

I am in the UK basking in temperatures I have rarely experienced here in the summer let alone February.  Here is the warning, however, the fresh meat section in the supermarket is so cold that my fingers turned white and I couldn't wait to get out of the aisles.  If they wish shoppers to linger and maybe buy more, or if they are hoping that the shoppers are having a pleasant experience in their stores, they are deliriously wrong.  It is a miserable experience.  I was so cold that even when I moved into non fresh food aisles I was suffering from lingering hypothermia.  My verdict - too cold, too much plastic.

My son works for a supermarket and we were trying to change his pension contributions.  On contacting the pension provider I was told that as the pension belongs to an outside source of independent stature that I should contact their human resources section for advice.  I rang them.  'That is a self-service proposition' I was told, 'so we can't help you.'  I asked what that meant and he repeated it - 5 times - as though it was going to become clearer.  'Yes, I know what you are saying and repeating it ad infinitum won't make it more understandable.  It is just gobbledygook.  Can I speak to someone who can actually give me advice and information on my son's pension? '

'That is a self-service proposition', he said, 'so we can't help you.'  'Well as a self-service proposition I would like to propose that you learn to speak plain English.'