Mad Darby Diaries

I went to Southampton the other day and took my sister with me.  Travelling anywhere with my sister is a liability, worse than with a child.  She disappears so silently and without warning.  This means that rather than looking round the shops I am constantly watching her.  After we had been shopping for a couple of hours, she said, 'I have bought loads of things and you haven't bought anything.'  No, I wonder why.  We made our way back to the railway station and got on the train, which wasn't due to leave for another ten minutes.  Finally I could relax, she was sitting opposite me, no escape.  After about 8 minutes she asked, 'Which stop is this?'  I thought I had misheard so I asked her what she had said.  'Which stop is this?' she repeated.  'Southampton Central,' I replied.  The man sitting across the aisle exploded with laughter.  Nonplussed she said, 'it must have been the other train that was moving.'   The...

 I took my 5 year old grandson to Wendover Woods with the aim of walking through the woods, playing hide and seek and cowboys.  When we arrived he noticed the zip line, which is part of Go Ape (acrobranching in France).  I have done Go Ape numerous times with other grandchildren and children but this was a special one for younger children.  I explained that you can't just do the zip line, you have to go right round the course in order to get to the zip line.  'Let's do it then,' he said.  I wanted to make sure he was up for it so I explained that we would be going up high and at times it would be scary.  This did not deter him, so we signed up, were fitted out with harnesses and given instructions'.  All went well until we reached one particular crossing and suddenly he refused to move.  'I've changed my mind,' he said, 'let's go back.'  It doesn't work like that, there is no going back, and as other children waited patiently behind us, ...

The UK seems to be operating on the basis that there is no virus.  Masks are rarely seen, little is being reported in the papers,  it is not the main topic of conversation in the street and social distancing doesn't exist.  I did see a testing table set up in Chesham high street but it was for one day only and they didn't seem to be doing much business. I went to Brighton on Sunday with my son and sister.  The old 'Lanes' have been reduced to a few jewellery shops and lots of cafes and the town was packed.  Openly gay people walk hand in hand through the streets in great numbers while others stroll around in gold lurex dresses. As we were heading back to the station the police arrived and blocked the road for an approaching cycle rally.   Living in France I have seen many cycle races go past but not quite like this one.  Here were 200 totally naked cyclists pedalling by while people cheered them on enthusiastically.  Some of them had put on s...

 While France is introducing strict rules for socialising, meaning only vaccinated people can socialise, here in the UK pandemic rules appear to have gone out of the window.  Apparently everyone can choose whether to wear a mask in shops and other indoor venues so the majority choose not to.   In France there has been little impact on medical interventions with treatment being continued for major diseases such as heart and cancer, as well as more minor operations.  Throughout the pandemic I have been able to go and see my GP, had my cataracts done, visited the dentist for a check up and had cancer surgery and follow up treatment. Here in the UK, you still can't go in person to the doctor's surgery, all diagnoses and treatment being conducted over the telephone, not even a video call.  My daughter in law, who is diabetic, has not seen a doctor or even a nurse for nearly 2 years.  The backlog of operations is so enormous that the experts believe it will ...

I had to cut down a tree to provide the paperwork that I need to get to the UK.  I tried scanning it on to my phone but it would only scan the French vaccination certificate, not the EU one, nor the test certificate.  Then, in my temporary accommodation, my laptop wouldn't connect to my printer.   While I am having to carry around a locater form (4 pages), a vaccination certificate, a test certificate, 2 pages, Boris Johnson is trying to duck and dive out of following rules that everyone else has to adhere to. After 2 days in a caravan with no toilet or water, I am now comfortably installed in a friend's gite.  The same friend will have his heart operation on Tuesday.  In the UK another friend, who needs the same procedure, has been told it would not be done for 3 years because of the backlog in the NHS.   In France the backlog is minimal  and doesn't exist at all for cancer and heart, or any other major disease. I think some people just want...

 It had to happen didn't it?  Moving day, and it was pouring with rain.  I wanted to leave the house clean for the new owners but as I watched the mop and bucket disappearing into the truck, I realised that all I could impart was mud.  There is lots of it, undisguisable on a light coloured tile floor and it continues up the stairs.  I swept as much dirt as I could with an ashpan and brush but it was like sweeping the sand out of the house in Khartoum.  Upstairs the dark brown wood hides what must be a ton of mud, lurking, just waiting for bare feet to turn black at a moment's notice. I wandered up to the first floor checking that each room was indeed empty and then up to the second floor.  There, sitting all on its own in the middle of an empty room, was a box that the removers had forgotten - and it was heavy.  I phoned the removal company.  'Can you drop it off at our depot' she asked.  You have to be kidding.  I can't even lift i...

 This morning, with my head full of things I still have to do, I got on the tram and forgot to scan my ticket.  The inspector got on 2 stops later and said I had to pay 45€ for this lapse.  Why can't I scan it now?  a reasonable question in my opinion, was met with scorn, so I  paid up.  On the tram back from the hospital there she was again and checked my ticket with glee.  While she was doing that a young man got on, sat down  and did not show any sign of even having a ticket, let alone scanning one.   The inspector passed him by without a second glance.   Today is the last day for packing and organising.  Tomorrow the removal company will arrive at 6am to take it all away and put it in storage.  Tomorrow night I will sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor and Thursday I go to the hospital to be nuked for the last time.  The sleeping bag is the one that saved me from hypothermia when a friend and I were lost for ...