Just like the buses

 If you leave dozens of messages on plumbers answer machines I suppose it is inevitable that eventually one would respond.  After a week with the water turned off 4 plumbers called in one day and one actually said he could come the next day.  I accepted, even though he was probably more expensive, and after two days of fishing around in my pipes, the leaks have stopped.  Hurray I can leave the house at last, instead of sitting by the phone in case it rings.  My sister said that I am now the master of quarantine, having been confined to the house yet again.

I don't watch daytime television, in fact I don't watch television much at all but I do like films and sport.  This week was the French Open Tennis and I needed something to occupy myself while I sat by the silent phone.  If I didn't feel depressed about getting old already I certainly would if I looked at all the adverts playing during the day.  Cremation services, life insurance with cheerful messages about not leaving your family with no money, they have more than I have, and chairs the likes I have only seen in old people's homes.  Contrary to those who say that all baby boomers are well off, we are not.  Advert after advert was telling me that for only £4 or £5 a month I could save my children from poverty after I am gone and I if I sign up today I will be sent - a pen.  Wow I can't wait.   The small print at the bottom of the screen, purposely small because the advert is aimed at people who are half blind anyway, informs you that this extraordinary insurance is only effective if you live for the next two years.  What are the chances?  Especially in the middle of a pandemic.

Another advert had a famous cricketer sitting on a settee, almost certainly not in his own living room judging by the design of it, with his feet on  some contraption that vibrates.  I have only heard of one vibrater before and it is not used for your feet.  This one  apparently is aimed at improving your circulation.  Why would a perfectly fit cricketer need this?  He can just go for a walk.

My final thought.  Why does Trump keep coming up roses?  Even the coronavirus has failed to knock him out.