Everyday is a birthday

I have been walking with a local group for three weeks and each time the walk has been followed by a celebration of someone's birthday.  I ducked out of the first two but it would have been churlish not to have stayed today as the birthday girl had made cheesy things especially for me.  They are a jolly bunch of walkers and cyclists and on the wall of the community centre where we meet up there is a list of everyone's birthday.  They have established that I am older than most of them but no-one has actually asked for the date of my birthday yet.  How long can I avoid this do you think?  It is most likely that even if they register it there is a good chance of it being forgotten with the New Year celebrations.  Am I being optimistic?  I hope not.

The battery of my mobile phone runs out in 3 minutes so I have concluded that it must be kaput.  I went to buy another one.  The cost was so high that a new phone would have cost less.

The doctor has told me that he has loaded all my medical records on the computer so that if it all goes pear shaped on October 31 and I get hit by a bus on November 1, the hospital will be able to access them.  'I won't mention that you are English though', he added, 'just in case.'  And that is an example of no-one knowing what is actually going to happen on the 1 November, not even the British government it seems.

Trump threw his toys out of his pram today when he announced that he was cancelling his trip to Denmark because they won't sell him Greenland.