Mad Darby Diaries

The purpose of this blog is to look  at the absurd and the humorous, which can be difficult when so many sad things are happening around one but chin up and look lively.  I have dipped in and out of the impeachment trial of Trump and I have found that since his defence has been defending it is a great way of going to sleep.  What with the lack of any attempt to actually defend him, apart from saying he didn't do it, their voices have been so monotonous, droning on and on about nothing at all, and totally ignoring the mountains of evidence against him. The French have finally woken up to the fact that Brexit is happening and have started to ask me whether it will make a difference to my status.  Well the first thing is that we have been banned from voting in  the local elections, even though we are permanent residents.  This is particularly galling as I wanted to add my vote to whoever stands against the Mayor, who is useless.  The strikers are hit...

My son, who has learning disabilities had his bank card stolen this week.  Money was taken out of his account before he could do anything about it.  This is particularly cruel as he doesn't rely on benefits to live, he works for his salary and always has done.  Has the world become more cruel since Trump came to power?  I believe it has and yet, despite all the lies, deceit and outright crooked acts, he manages to escape, mainly because he is surrounded by sycophants.  A tennis player was telling me how she loves to iron as it smooths her problems away.   I take the opposite view.  Did ironing this morning take away thieves and Trump from my thoughts? No.  I am no good at it.  Everything looks worse than when I started.  I tried to iron a fitted sheet and finished up screwing it into a ball and shoving it in a cupboard.  I remember visiting one of my sisters soon after she married.  She was a teacher so was impressed th...

I am not the sort of person you would describe as being 'dippy' but sometimes I catch myself being just that.  Since the beginning of January, when my family left, I have struggled to see when I am driving at night.  'Good heavens', I thought, ' I know older people have trouble seeing so clearly at night but could my night blindness happen so quickly?' I did two evening drives in the dark before I had the sense to actually check the lights on the car.  They all worked.  I looked at the controls and fiddled around with them for a while and then the light bulb went off in my head.  My grandson loves sitting in the driving seat of my car and he touches all the controls and there it was, he had  changed the headlight setting to the dimmest it could be.   'I am an idiot', I thought. This isn't as bad as another dippy moment I had about 10 years ago.  I had been to a dinner in a restaurant along the Loire.  When we came out it was dark an...

Well I am an optimist and always happy regardless of what life throws at me so despite Trump and the pile of laundry facing me now the family have left, I am positive.  I collected all the dirty sheets, pillows, duvet covers (king size) and towels and divided them  into 5 loads.  So far so good.  So why what was I thinking when I grabbed the settee cover that I bought in India and threw it in with the pillow protectors, pillow cases and table cloths?  I now have blue pillow protectors, blue pillow cases and a wonderful swirling blue pattern on the table cloths. I had coffee with an Italian friend this morning who is looking forward to her first grandchild being born.  I have grandchildren almost in their thirties and little grandchildren past the baby stage.  Catherina is looking for baby stuff, a cot etc.,  (Surely my children have done producing children now), so I offered her all my baby things.  It will be s..'s law that those grandson...

Christmas didn't quite turn out as planned.  My son slipped two discs and couldn't drive from Bulgaria and sadly we had to carry on without him, my daughter in law and granddaughter.  Skype is good but doesn't replace having your family in the house.  I went to pick up another son from Nantes and on the way back 2 of my tyres blew out.  I mean what are the chances?  It was dark, raining and when I phoned the insurance company she wanted to know my exact location.  In a village on the D957 doesn't hack it apparently.  'Can you locate yourself on your phone or a GPS?' she asked, oblivious to the fact that my GPS needed replacing years ago and can barely tell me that I live in France let alone direct a breakdown truck.  As for my phone well there my incompetence comes into play.  She said she would hold on while I locate myself on the phone.  I don't know how you do that.  I can 'locate myself' if I ring off first.  I gave up and...

Every year the post lady comes with her calendars and I dutifully buy one.  They are actually quite useful.  This year however something has changed.  On the page where the gaily coloured flags of the European Union are displayed, one is missing.  Did the La Poste have inside information about the election, were they eerily confidant that the UK would leave this year or is it that they can't wait to get rid of us?  Who knows?  The French love the British flag and you see it adorning t shirts, bags, luggage, even the backside of jeans, although that may have other connotations that have nothing to do with love. An old golfing friend sent an e mail asking for my new address.  She couldn't believe that I am still living in the same place even though several years have passed since I moved to this house.  Not that I haven't been tempted many times to just up sticks and b......... off.  This year I believe is the year, I just have to figure out...

People ask some really weird questions when you live on your own.  The conversation goes like this,  'Do you eat every day?'  'Of course, don't you?'  'Yes but I cook for two of us, it must be difficult to find the motivation to cook for yourself.'   Another is 'don't you find your house a bit big for you on your own?'  Well let's think about this.  Whether you are a single person or a couple you use the kitchen, the living room, the dining room, bathroom and bedroom.  (well most couples use one bedroom).  One woman said in response to this observation,  'Well my husband has a study as well.'  Oh heaven forbid if a woman has a study or an office.  A man was complaining about the cost of living.  'It is worse for us because we  pay for 2 people.'  Give me strength.  The chances are the household bills are the same, taxes are the same, heating is the same and YOU HAVE TWO INCOMES. I have been laid up w...