Mad Darby Diaries

Don't be too excited at the prospect of freedom.  I suspect that it will be limited.  I am just looking forward to being able to walk outside the 1 km limit and to go somewhere without having to justify why I am in my car, or anywhere else for that matter.  Some of my neighbours haven't been adhering to any of the restrictions, while others have been dutifully obeying the law.  Perhaps the latter have British blood in them.  I am so glad I am in France and not in crazy Trump world where a lot of people actually believe his parallel universe.  Some Americans chose to stay in Lebanon rather than return to the USA, where they felt it was more dangerous but now Lebanon has erupted into violence.  They probably wish they had gone to Sweden. I went to look at my garden.  It looks like a prairie with the long grass swaying in the wind.  I couldn't see the lavender, which has been completely buried by grass.  'What do I do with it now?' I ask...

I just had to power wash the courtyard.  At the end of winter it is green and black and only power washing will get rid of it but I get in such a mess.  Even though I wear wellies, lightweight walking trousers and my son's waterproof Special Olympics coat, the water and muck gets in my hair, on my face and inside the wellies.  It is also backbreaking because the spray gun is too short to do the job without bending over.  I hate this job, put it off as long as possible and then spend hours getting it done.  It does look good when I have finished though. We can ignore all the health experts and follow the great Trump's advice instead because he says he has the best brain in the history of the world.  Really?  Ok so we should all inject disinfectant into our lungs?  Did he really say that?  Yes he did.  Einstein must be turning in his grave. 

So the overwhelming protest from the oldies in France about being kept in their houses indefinitely paid off as it was announced last night that it would be discrimination so when new rules come in after 11 May everyone will be treated equally. Yesterday I had to go to the doctor to get a prescription.  I thought he would just leave it for me to pick up but no he had to take my blood pressure etc.  My GP is a one man band, he answers the phone, does all the paperwork and so on.  Normally when a patient leaves he shakes his or her hand then immediately shakes the hand of the next patient.  On top of that bad hygiene there is no sink in his office so all the germs just keep going from one patient to another, via the doctor.   Yesterday he was under strict instructions.  Only one patient at a time so I had to wait in the car park until the previous patient left and the doctor waved at me from the door to go in.  He didn't shake hands, he used sani...

So here I am in week 7 and I decided to challenge my children and grandchildren to doing 100 rapid skips a day, as I have been doing.  Their excuses?  We don't have a skipping rope, we have a rope but it is too short,  I haven't skipped since I was at school, can I do 5 a day instead, I am  too tall.  Well really. On Saturday my neighbour was washing her car (I haven't cleaned mine in about 3 years).  I shouted from the window that when someone washes their car it will rain the next day.  Sunday it didn't stop tipping it down all day.   Sunday is also Skype day with my children.  There were clear blue skies in London, beach weather in Bognor and in Sofia my son was sitting on his balcony bathed in sunshine.  I was dressed in wellies and raincoat putting the garbage out. The department has reiterated that one can only spend an hour a day in the garden.  The logic of this order escapes me but I am nevertheless grateful....

Is it time for us oldies to fight back?  A Senator in the USA has said we should let the old people die for the sake of the economy,  the Sun newspaper in the UK said that the government should stop the triple lock because all pensioners are millionaires and the money would be better used for the NHS.  In France Macron is suggesting that when the country starts getting back to some sort of life people over 70 should be locked up indefinitely.  As the virus has ravaged old people's  homes and the figures were not being included in the death rate, I am a little cynical about this being for our own good.  I anticipated us being the last group to be let out.  So when the tennis club is finally opened I shall be the only player who will be excluded from playing. I went shopping yesterday, intending to go to Lidl, but when I arrived the car park was packed and glancing ;through the window I could see there was no social distancing whatsoever so I went to ...

Spring has sprung and the cuckoos are competing with each other.  I have counted three so far.  Butterflies are everywhere and the birds' chorus is wonderful.  With all this nature around me I turned my attention to the wilderness, otherwise known as my garden.  The cherry tree is in full bloom but is being choked with brambles and ivy.  I hate gardening but needs must and all that.  The trouble is I had to squat under the cherry tree to try and cut the brambles with shears.  This is excruciating on the back, let alone the legs.  It did cross my mind that if we are locked down for many more months I might need blackberries but I knew that I was just looking for excuses not to keep going. It was hot so after an hour I had had enough.  I stepped back to admire my work.  Like my ironing it didn't look any different.  The ivy was still growing up the trunk, the brambles continued to cover the ground and what idiot wears a cashmere ca...

I live in the country and in the 10 years that I have lived in this house I have never seen a police car.  I know that all around me people are not adhering to the isolation rules, especially my neighbours, so who got stopped by gendarmes in their car this morning?  Me.  They asked where I was going, they asked to see my form.  They didn't like the fact that I had tippexed out the previous date and time and they also asked why I had not downloaded the new form on to my phone.  I took my son's advice to just say I am old and explained that technology is beyond me and anyway mobile phones don't work around here.  They asked why I wasn't using a new form each day and I said that I had only one form so had to re-use it. Now for years I have been writing to the Marie complaining about the speed  of the traffic to no avail.  The gendarme, whose car was pulled into the lane, was just asking me where I lived when a car drove through the village at high...

The States have plumbed the depths of immorality, led by the most immoral man in its history.  His 'America First' policy has meant that his government has hijacked vital medical supplies ordered by and destined for Germany and France, and had them sent to the USA.  Never mind that more Europeans will die as a result as long as the States is ok. The mind boggles that, also in the States, essential services, which include food shops and pharmacies has now included gun shops.  They have been deemed to be critical to the well being of American citizens.  I am sure the person who receives the next bullet does not feel that his or her well being is a priority.   Meanwhile Dr Fauci, the only sane voice at the White House, has had to have his protection increased because of the number of threats against him.   This is just three examples of the slippery slope that America is on.  I rest my case.  Don't worry though.  Trump has put Jared...

After 4 weeks of isolation and getting by with what the village shop provides, I had to go to the supermarket in Thouars.  I actually felt a feeling of freedom as I drove away, if only for a 15 minute journey.  I had escaped for an hour.  The supermarket was busy but not crowded.  My son, who works in a supermarket in the UK said that every trolley used is wiped down with disinfectant.  Here there was no such precaution and inside there didn't seem to be much social distancing either, with customers chatting in groups.  But it was quiet for all that.  The world has taken on an eerie silence.  Great in some ways but disturbing in others.  As I was returning from my walk this morning a car came down the lane, unusual at the best of times, but this driver was so surprised to see someone that his whole face changed and he nearly went into the ditch. There is a worldwide shortage of masks but more and more countries are insisting that everyone ...